ISTPs are generally extremely capable individuals who are good at most things
which interest them. They are usually bright, interesting, and
exciting individuals with a lot to offer. They live almost entirely in
the present moment, and usually do not make commitments beyond the immediate
foreseeable future. An ISTP probably coined the phrase "nothing is unconditional".
They strongly prefer to take things one day at a time, rather than make
long-term commitments. If a relationship interests them and satisfies their
needs, the ISTP will do their part on a daily basis to keep the relationship
strong and healthy. If they lose interest in a relationship,
their natural tendency will be to move on.
ISTP Strengths
- Good listeners
- Usually self-confident
- Generally optimistic and fun to be with
- Practical and realistic, they handle daily concerns
- Are not threatened by conflict or criticism
- Able to leave a relationship with relative ease once it is over
- Able to administer punishment, although they're not interested in doing so
- Likely to respect other's needs for space and privacy
ISTP Weaknesses
- Living entirely in the present, they have difficulty with long-term commitments
- Not naturally good at expressing feelings and emotions
- Not tuned in to what others are feeling, they may be insensitive at times
- Tendency to be overly private and hold back part of themselves
- Need a lot of personal space, which they don't like to have invaded
- They thrive on action and excitement, and may stir things up to create it
ISTPs as Lovers
"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as
the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to
joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know
was possible before." -- Rollo May |
ISTPs can be very intense and exciting individuals. Their strong Thinking
preference makes them seem rather aloof and "hard to get". Their Sensing
and Perceiving preferences make them sensual, earthy individuals. These attributes
frequently make them attractive to the opposite sex. ISTPs live entirely
in the current moment, which makes them especially interested in new
sensations and experiences. They strongly dislike routine and strict
schedules, and resist being controlled by others. They are fiercely
independent and need their own space within a relationship. When involved
in relationships which provide for their basic needs and which present
them with new experiences, the ISTP will be happy to do what's necessary
to keep the relationship alive and well. If a relationship becomes
boring or oppressive to the ISTP, they will try to fix it, or move on.
ISTPs take their
commitments on a day-by-day basis. Even if they say "I do", it usually
means "I do for now". They do not like to make lifelong commitments,
although they may very well be involved in lifelong relationships which
they have taken one day at a time.
Sexually, the ISTP approaches intimacy as a physical act rather than
an expression of love and affection. They are earthy and sensual
beings who enthusiastically experience sex with all five senses.
They bring spontaneity, creativity, and enthusiasm into the bedroom,
and enjoy new experiences.
Since aesthetic beauty has such strong appeal to them, they appreciate
the "setting", i.e. bedding, lingerie, cologne, etc.
ISTPs love to fix things, and may create problems
in their personal relationships, just so that they can have the fun of
fixing them.
They have a tendency to hold back their own views on things. They like
to listen to other people's views, but are generally non-commital about expressing
their own opinions. ISTPs have a habit of evading answering questions by
asking more questions. This can be frustrating at times to their mates,
if they are after a direct answer. The ISTP's decision making process is
entirely internal, so they don't feel much need to share their opinions
with others. When they are interacting with others, they are in
"information gathering" mode, so they tend to ask questions rather than
share views. The ISTP just doesn't feel the need to expose themselves
fully to others. When it comes to intimate relationships, the ISTP has
the further motivation of protecting themselves. Most ISTPs are afraid
of having to deal with their deeper feelings. Since their Thinking preference
dominates their personality, their Feeling side is their least developed
(inferior) function. Consequently, ISTPs are usually quite vulnerable and
perhaps weak when dealing with their feelings. Their habit of keeping
part of themselves hidden may also serve the purpose of keeping a protective
wall around their hearts.
Although the ISTP does not usually have a well-developed Feeling side, they
frequently do have intense feelings for people. They can feel overpowering
love for their mates, although they are likely not to express their
emotions, or to express them inadequately or inappropriately if they do
venture towards expression. However, unlike many of the other personality
types, ISTPs feel strong affections one day at a time. One day, they may
feel completely, intensely in love with their mate, and the next day they
may be totally disinterested, or perhaps even ready to move on. This
"live for the moment" type of approach is different from how most other types
experience their feelings, and is difficult for many to understand.
Consequently, the ISTP may be called "fickle" or "cold". In fact, they
are not really fickle, and certainly not cold. They simply experience
their lives on a moment by moment basis, and go along with it's natural
flow. However, since most people need more commitment than can be
offered when taking things day-by-day, the ISTP who wants to remain in
a relationship will have to resolve themself towards being involved in
a more traditional commitment. For most ISTPs, making a commitment to
an intimate relationship will require an effort to stretch themselves
outside of their comfort zones. However, those who do so will realize
that they can enjoy the benefits of a strong, committed relationship
and still live their lives in the present tense.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy
relationship, the ISTP's natural partner is the
ESTJ, or the
ENTJ.
ISTP's dominant function of Introverted Thinking is best matched with a
partner whose personality is dominated by Extraverted Thinking. The
ISTP/ESTJ combination is ideal, because both types share the Sensing
preference for perceiving the world, but ISTP/ENTJ is also a good combination.
How did we arrive
at this?
ISTPs as Parents
"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran |
ISTPs are flexible, laid-back, uncontrolling parents who like to take things as
they come. Their dislike of being controlled or controlling others extends to
their children as well, and they're consequently likely to give their kids a
lot of breathing room and space for individual growth. However, when discipline
is required, the ISTP will be able to administer it without too much difficulty.
They may have difficulty mustering up the enthusiasm to discipline their kids,
but once they get going they'll be effective.
ISTP parents are likely to maintain a distance between themselves and their children.
They do not feel a tremendous need to pass on their values to their children,
or to influence their decisions in life. They're likely to rely on their mates
for creating a structured environment for their children to live within.
ISTPs do not like to be directed or controlled, and are not likely to direct and
control others - including their children. They're likely to be relatively
uninvolved with the daily happenings of family life, without making a conscious
effort to keep interested.
ISTPs will enjoy spending one-on-one time with their children pursuing outdoorsy
activities, such as fishing, boating, hunting, etc. It is during these private
moments that the ISTP will take the opportunity to get to know their children's
perspectives, and to pass on the ISTP's interests and perspectives.
ISTPs as Friends
ISTPs have an enthusiastic, childlike approach to life that is attractive to others.
As Introverted Thinkers, they also have some real substance to them which prevents
them from being entirely frivolous and hedonic in their pursuits. They are laid-back
and flexible, and generally accepting of a wide range of behavior. These attributes
make them valued friends and confidantes.
ISTPs usually have a selection of friends who share their love of particular hobbies
and pasttimes. They might have a friend who they ski with, and another who they
shoot pool with, etc. They generally have no interest or patience with individuals
who do not share their interests, and will spend little or no time with them.
They have a difficult time understanding people with extremely strong iNtuitive
preferences, and are not likely to spend time with these individuals unless they
share a common interest or hobby. They enjoy spending time with Extraverts, whose
enthusiastic, talkative natures are attractive to the more reserved ISTP, but they
will eventually tire of their "bubbliness". The ISTP is able to get along well
with people of any personality type, but is likely to value and bond only those
with whom they have common interests.
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