INFJs are warm and affirming people who are usually also deep and
complex. They're likely to seek out and promote relationships that
are intense and meaningful. They tend to be perfectionists, and are
always striving for the Ultimate Relationship. For the most part,
this is a positive feature, but sometimes works against the INFJ
if they fall into the habit of moving from relationship to relationship,
always in search of a more perfect partner. In general, the INFJ
is a deeply warm and caring person who is highly invested in the health
of their close relationships, and puts forth a lot of effort to make
them positive.
They are valued by those close to them for these
special qualities. They seek long-term, lifelong relationships, although
they don't always find them.
INFJ Strengths
- Warm and affirming by nature
- Dedicated to achieving the ultimate relationship
- Sensitive and concerned for others' feelings
- Usually have good communication skills, especially written
- Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
- Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
- Good listeners
- Are able to move on after a relationship has ended (once they're sure it's over)
INFJ Weaknesses
- Tendency to hold back part of themselves
- Not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities
- Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
- Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
- Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
INFJs as Lovers
"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as
the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to
joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know
was possible before." -- Rollo May |
INFJs are warm, considerate partners who feel great depth of love
for their partners. They enjoy showing this love, and want to
receive affirmation back from their mates.
They are perfectionists,
constantly striving to achieve the Perfect Relationship. This can
sometimes be frustrating to their mates, who may feel put upon by the
INFJs demanding perfectionism. However, it may also be greatly
appreciated, because it indicates a sincere commitment to the
relationship, and a depth of caring which is not usually present in
other types.
Sexually, INFJs view intimacy as a nearly spiritual experience.
They embrace the opportunity to bond heart and soul with their mates.
As service-oriented individuals, it's very important to them that their
mates are happy. Intimacy is an opportunity for the INFJ to
selflessly give their love, and experience it in a tangible way.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy
relationship, INFJ's natural partner is the
ENTP, or the
ENFP.
INFJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a
personality type that is dominated by Extraverted Intuition.
How did we arrive at
this?
INFJs as Parents
"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran |
INFJs usually make warm and caring parents. Their goal is to help their
children become adults who know the difference between right and wrong,
and who are independent, growth-oriented individuals.
Along the path to
that goal they are generally very warm and caring, and are likely to treat
their children as individuals who have a voice in family decisions.
They want their children to be able to think for themselves, and make
the right decisions. They also can be quite demanding on their children,
and may have very high expectations for their behavior. Although they
are generally soft-spoken and gentle, they may become stubborn and
sharp-tongued at times when their expectations aren't met, or when under
a lot of stress.
INFJs take their parenting role with ultimate seriousness. They will
make sacrifices for the sake of their children without a second thought,
and without remorse. Passing on their values to their children is
a serious priority in their lives. Children of INFJs remember their
parents fondly as warm, patient, and inspirational.
INFJs as Friends
Although the INFJ is likely to put friends behind their God and their
families in terms of importance, they do value their friendships.
As idealists who have strong value systems, INFJs seek authenticity
and depth in their close relationships, and especially value people
who can see and appreciate the INFJ for who they are and what they
stand for.
The INFJ is likely to spend a lot of time socialing with family members.
If they are religious, they probably are social with members of their
religious community. After that, the INFJ may have friends represented
from any of the personality types. They are usually extremely intuitive
individuals, who will have no patience for anyone they feel is dishonest
or corrupt. They'll have no interest in being around these kinds of
people.
All kinds of people are drawn towards the INFJ. They are usually quite
popular, although they may be unaware of it themselves, because they
don't place a lot of importance on it.
The INFJ is valued by their close friends for their warmth and consideration,
their new and interesting ways of looking at things, and for their
ability to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be.
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